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“I Want A Threesome”

“I want a threesome”
(asking your girlfriend for a 3sum the do’s and don’ts)

This can be a really raw and touchy subject for some.
Be sure to understand the do’s and don’ts is really important for everyone involved.

One of the most important things to remember is that it’s not about convincing your partner to have a threesome.
You can’t directly change someone’s mind, or hound them, or threaten them. Let’s just be really clear about that.

If you respect your partner, you’ll tread lightly and be very mindful of their feelings.

The thought of sharing your partner with someone can be really overwhelming. It can also make the other person feel as though they are not enough for you. However, this is not always the case. If you are approaching your partner for a threesome because you feel like you are missing something in your relationship, then I would suggest having a conversation about that before you approach the idea of bringing in a third person!

Once you have started having open conversations about your sex life in general. You could then potentially discuss the more sensitive areas of your sex life.

Here are some helpful ideas to think about along the way.

“I Want A Threesome”
(asking your girlfriend for a 3sum the do’s and don’ts)

Don’t position the threesome as a gift she can give you

This is really important. Do not do this.

If it’s your birthday coming up, do not, we repeat, do not ask for a threesome. You’ll probably receive a slap in the face!
When you finally approach the subject of a threesome.
Don’t position it as a gift your partner can give you.

A woman’s virginity isn’t a present to the man she first sleeps with, it’s something she (hopefully) has carefully considered. Her agreement in a ménage à trois shouldn’t be reduced to a gift, either.
Gifting someone a threesome is the opposite of empowering. She will feel as if she is not enough for you.
That’s not the path you want to go down.

You want your girlfriend to truely want to participate.
Not for her to feel as if she’s doing it to be nice because some special occasion demands it.

Don’t position it as a bucket list item, either

Personal bucket lists are for better kept for skydiving, base jumping, bungie jumping, visiting the Eiffel Tower.
They aren’t for threesomes.

Once you’re in a serious relationship, you can’t just create bucket list items that involve someone else’s naked body without their consent. You can of course draft a couple’s list including sex with an outside party. Do not whine about how you need to cross “threesome” off your own list before you die. It’s a cheap trick unlikely to be well-received, forever tainting what could be established as a fun joint venture, eventually.

Give her reassurance she needs

Once the old I-want-a-threesome cat’s out of the bag, provide your girlfriend with all the reassurance she needs.

This is where a few key points should be emphasised.
Tell your girlfriend that she is and always will be your number one priority. Your desire for a threesome isn’t rooted in boredom with her, or your sex life as a couple.
It is born from an itch to experiment together.
You want to experience something new with your lover, and you sincerely believe it will be wild and fulfilling for both of you.
No additional man or woman is going to interfere with your bond, inside or outside the bedroom.
Explain that a threesome doesn’t have to lead to jealousy or to an open relationship. Just as long as you approach it mindfully and make all related decisions as a team. And if she seems uncomfortable as you get into the nitty gritty of the conversation – honour that.

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Let her set some ground rules

This is really important. She needs to feel like she holds the strings, so to speak. Let her know that if at anytime she doesn’t feel it, she gets to call it, and you won’t be angry!
A threesome can sound a lot more appealing to a reluctant party if they’re reassurance to some degree of control over the situation.

So tell your girlfriend that you will not only involve her in every aspect of the planning process, but also allow her to set some ground rules.
She might feel ten times more comfortable if guaranteed in advance that the third party won’t be an escort, or someone either of you knows.
No strings attached is likely really important to her.

She might also respond well to being granted veto power when evaluating potential candidates.
If she sets a policy you dislike – for instance, banning third party penetration. Stay patient, remembering that it’s a sign of progress just to have her contemplating such things.

More than one person has been known to bend their own rules when caught in a whirlwind of passion, and some things are easier to negotiate in the moment.
The goal is to support and encourage her into a threesome. Then to let things unfold, trusting in the powers of lust, seduction, and arousal.

In closing

Whatever stage you are at in your relationship, it’s really important to be conscious and mindful of the other party at all times. But also be mindful of yourself.
Sometimes the ideas of a threesome is quite exciting, but then again, you need to share your partner with someone else too! Think about that, long term.
How will you feel if this goes ahead?

Would you be comfortable with sharing her with another man, just as you would like to share yourself with another man?

Open communication is key.

Good luck!

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2 Responses

  1. PatsFor7 says:

    Have you ever had a threesome Dana??

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